Happy First Contact Day, commemorating Earth’s first contact with Vulcans on April 5, 2063.
“The (Supreme Court) ruling that anyone who’s arrested — even accidentally — can be strip-searched was decided five to four, with the votes for the searches coming from the Court’s five conservatives. You know — the ‘defending personal liberty’ guys. Which is weird because I’m not a constitutional scholar, but I’m willing to bet Big Government feels it’s biggest when it’s inside your anus.” –Jon Stewart