David Letterman: Top Ten Herman Cain Pick-Up Lines

David Letterman: Top Ten Herman Cain Pick-Up Lines

10. “You’re like a Godfather’s pizza: a little doughy, but still hot”
9. “My name’s Herman and I’ll get you squirmin'”
8. “May I stuff your crust?”
7. “You put the ‘ass’ in National Restaurant Association”
6. “Can I buy you a glass of whatever Rick Perry is drinking?”
5. “Would you describe yourself as the litigious type?”
4. (Video: Newt Gingrich having sex with a vending machine)
3. “Baby, you’re worth the forty grand in hush money”
2. “You don’t know Gloria Allred, do you?”
1. “My tax plan is 9-9-9, but you’re a 10-10-10”

Gingrich Becoming The Next Not-Romney Candidate

There might be a major shake-up underway in the Republican nomination race. Polls such as the McClatchy-Marist poll show Cain falling and Gingrich now turning it into a three-way race.  If Gingrich doesn’t self-destruct like Perry and Cain, it is possible that Gingrich could win the nomination.

There are enough conservatives who do not want Mitt Romney to win that, should they unite behind one, Romney could still be denied the nomination. At this point Romney is looking a lot like Hillary Clinton did four years ago.  If Gingrich could win in Iowa, come in a respectable second in New Hampshire, and then go on to win in South Carolina, he could go on to win the nomination. There might be a protracted fight between Gingrich and Romney, with other conservatives also picking up votes, with Romney unable to gain over fifty percent of the delegates. The questions will be whether Gingrich can maintain his momentum when he becomes the target of other candidates and whether enough conservatives start to back him.

David Letterman: Top Ten Best Rick Perry Excuses (Delivered by Rick Perry)

David Letterman:  Top Ten Best Rick Perry Excuses (Delivered by Rick Perry)

10. Actually there were three reasons I messed up last night 1) was the nerves 2) was the headache and 3) um…..uh….ooops.
9. I don’t know what you’re talking about I think things went well.
8. Hey I was up late last night watching “Dancing with the Stars”
7. I thought the debate was tonight.
6. Hey listen you try concentrating when Mitt Romney’s smiling at you. That is one handsome dude.
5. Uh, El Nino?
4. I had a five hour energy drink six hours before the debate
3. You know I really hoped it would get me on my favorite talk show but instead I ended up here
2. I wanted to help take the heat off my buddy Herman Cain.
1. I just learned Justin Bieber is my father