Quotes of the Day

“The Department of Justice shut down the biggest online poker sites for violating the law. None of the poker players saw it coming because they were all wearing those stupid little sunglasses.” –Craig Ferguson

“The poker sites broke the same law that prevents the banks from transferring money to offshore accounts. Now if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that Uncle Sam isn’t going to let banks screw people over.” –Craig Ferguson

“President Obama’s critics are lashing out over him shutting down the poker sites. Sarah Palin called it an overreaction, Tim Pawlenty said it was irrational, and Donald Trump said, ‘Be sure to watch ‘Celebrity Apprentice.”” –Craig Ferguson

“Gambling and Washington don’t seem to go together at all. One’s full of whores and seedy, soulless bastards and the other’s the gambling industry.” –Craig Ferguson

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