This story in The Onion raises a real point. Would Republicans consider it to be unconstitutional for the federal government to destroy an asteroid hurling towards the earth because this is not a function of government mentioned in the Constitution? Would they insist upon leaving this to be handled by states, or claim that destruction of asteroids would be handled better by the market?
Republicans Vote To Repeal Obama-Backed Bill That Would Destroy Asteroid Headed For Earth
WASHINGTON—In a strong rebuke of President Obama and his domestic agenda, all 242 House Republicans voted Wednesday to repeal the Asteroid Destruction and American Preservation Act, which was signed into law last year to destroy the immense asteroid currently hurtling toward Earth.
The $440 billion legislation, which would send a dozen high-thrust plasma impactor probes to shatter the massive asteroid before it strikes the planet, would affect more than 300 million Americans and is strongly opposed by the GOP.
“The voters sent us to Washington to stand up for individual liberty, not big government,” Rep. Steve King (R-IA) said at a press conference. “Obama’s plan would take away citizens’ fundamental freedoms, forcing each of us into hastily built concrete bunkers and empowering the federal government to ration our access to food, water, and potassium iodide tablets while underground.”
“We believe that the decisions of how to deal with the massive asteroid are best left to the individual,” King added.
Repealing the act, which opponents have branded ‘Obamastroid,’ has been the cornerstone of the GOP agenda since the law’s passage last August. Throughout the 2010 elections, Republican candidates claimed that the Democrats’ plan to smash the space rock and shield citizens from its fragments was “a classic example of the federal government needlessly interfering in the lives of everyday Americans.”
“This law is a job killer,” said Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-NC), who argued the tax increases required to save the human species from annihilation would impose unbearably high costs on businesses. “If we sit back and do nothing, Obamastroid will result in hundreds of thousands of lost jobs, which we simply can’t afford in this economy.”
Republicans would support it as a constitutional national defense bill. Democrats would fight Obama tooth-and-nail over the cost of the high-thrust plasma impactor probes, claiming that they are the real cause of our deficit.
The discussion on Facebook was more entertaining. One person agreed with Heaven Republican that the GOP would support it but noted “ They would consider it a military expense and give the private contracts on a no bid system to one of their friends n family, or one of their own companies with offshore registration so as not to pay taxes on it.”
Yet another person also believed Republicans would support this: “First and foremost they would take it as a sign from above that the rapture is headed this way and do everything to help make sure earth is lined up for a direct hit. It would be their very dream come true.”
Sounds like a bunch of progressives speaking for Republicans. Never a good thing.
But they did do a good job of demonstrating two common threads of thought among Republicans.