Creationists Were Right In Denying That They Have Evolved

It looks like the flat-earthers on the right wing have been right all along–they have not evolved. Sleeping Under Enon explains:

Creationists have often argued that they did not come from apes, a view usually ridiculed by the scientific community. Recent evidence, however, suggests that they may have actually been right. Scientists think that at the dawn of mankind, when the rest of the human race was busy evolving and adapting to their environment, creationists were refusing to take part in the evolutionary game, and as a result of this are therefore thoroughly unevolved human beings. The DNA of those who deny the glaringly obvious seems to be much more basic in structure. Instead of a double helix make-up like normal human beings, theirs is a single, thread-bare strand of pseudo philosophy. ‘What’s interesting’, says Dr. Spengler, ‘is that their DNA pattern is very unreactive, virtually ignoring everything that’s going on around it’. He went on to say that ‘anything more complicated than a black and white environment becomes too much for this type of organism, forcing it to, evolutionarily speaking, stick its fingers in its ears shouting ‘Blah blah blah, I can’t hear you”.

‘We didn’t believe it when we first checked the fossil records, but thinking about it, it makes sense’ commented Dr. Ray Stantz. ‘You might recall that human DNA shares significantly similar DNA to a banana. Well, creationists are much closer in genetic structure to an inanimate piece of fruit than other humans, it’s simply amazing we didn’t realise this before!’

Perhaps we should have realized this before, but some defenders of evolution are taking this well pointing out “it’s at least a silver lining to learn I don’t share a chromosome with those who watch Fox News’.”

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18 Comments

  1. 1
    Captin Sarcastic says:

    Spengler and Stantz, nice, glad to see the Ghostbusters have a new gig. 😉

  2. 2
    Snarko Marx says:

    RT @RonChusid: Creationists Were Right In Denying That They Have Evolved #p2 http://bit.ly/b6k4mR

  3. 3
    Tom says:

    RT @simoncowart RT @RonChusid: Creationists Were Right In Denying That They Have Evolved #p2 http://bit.ly/b6k4mR — Nice.

  4. 4
    GeeJunie says:

    RT @RonChusid Creationists Were Right In Denying That They Have Evolved #p2 #tcot http://bit.ly/b6k4mR /Hurts to laugh that much! lol

  5. 5
    HOOVILLE says:

    rt @RonChusid Creationists Were Right In Denying That They Have Evolved #p2 http://bit.ly/b6k4mR // Told Ya !!

  6. 6
    rmuse says:

    “@RonChusid: Creationists Were Right In Denying That They Have Evolved #p2 http://bit.ly/b6k4mR” /So apropos!

  7. 7
    Unpopular Musician says:

    RT @RonChusid: Creationists Were Right In Denying That They Have Evolved #p2 http://bit.ly/b6k4mR

  8. 8
    Canadian says:

    RT @RonChusid: Creationists Were Right In Denying That They Have Evolved #p2 http://bit.ly/b6k4mR

  9. 9
    Peepsquack says:

    RT @RonChusid: Creationists Were Right In Denying That They Have Evolved http://bit.ly/b6k4mR

  10. 10
    Mike Hatcher b.t.r.m. says:

    Wow! Aren’t we getting virulent these days? The vulgarity about the Glenn Beck rally followed by this humorous post. Would this mood have anything to do with this news story? http://www.gallup.com/poll/142718/GOP-Unprecedented-Lead-Generic-Ballot.aspx 🙂   Don’t worry about right wing creationist politicians though,  I don’t many believe what they say about their religious opinions, they are just pandering to a segment of the voter population. All that talk about God and actions like going to church, for most I’m sure it is all just a show.  I believe a lot of the founding fathers of this country believed in creation, maybe not all of them but most. Those words: “All men were created equal.” still ring true to me.

  11. 11
    Ron Chusid says:

    No, the Gallup poll means little. It has been fluctuating wildly every time, suggesting limited reliability. In addition, similar polls which break it down by region show that the Republicans lead nationally because of a huge lead in the south but Democrats still lead in most of the country.

    Besides, it is expected that the party out of power will do well in such an off year election, especially in an election such as this in which less young people and fewer moderates typically vote. What will probably happen is that a number of far right tea party Republicans will get elected to Congress in 2010. However when moderates and younger voters turn out in usual numbers in the next presidential election, seeing the extremists who get elected in 2010 will create a larger anti-Republican back lash in 2012.

    Science has advanced since 1776, including our knowledge of evolution. The views of the founding fathers, who had no exposure to 21st century science, is hardly relevant to the issue of 21st century Republicans rejecting modern science. However you very well could be right that they are just pandering. The problem is that, even if they are just pandering, this could still affect their policies if they continue pandering while in office.

    All in all, Democrats are moderately more fiscally responsible that Republicans, although neither party can brag here. However Democrats are much better on national security issues since the neocon view destroyed Republican responsibility on foreign policy, and are far better on social issues.

  12. 12
    Throne777 says:

    I’m glad to see so many people like my article. Note that the above is only about half of the original article and you can read the rest on my site (where there’s other satirical stuff, rants, musings and so on). And you can follow me on Twitter (asleepunderenon) for updates about the blog and various other things.
    Regards.

  13. 13
    mbfromhb says:

    » Creationists Were Right In Denying That They Have Evolved Liberal Values http://goo.gl/bA9n

  14. 14
    Ron Chusid says:

    Regular readers probably do realize that excerpts here typically are only a portion of the original article, leaving reason for readers to go on to the original source if they enjoy the excerpt. However with the large number of retweats of this, it might be worth mentioning for those coming here from links.

  15. 15
    Karen L Oleet says:

    RT @ronchusid: Creationists Were Right In Denying That They Have Evolved #p2 http://bit.ly/b6k4mR

  16. 16
    Merry A. Kogut says:

    RT @ronchusid: Creationists Were Right In Denying That They Have Evolved #p2 http://bit.ly/b6k4mR

  17. 17
    Ellie Elliott says:

    RT @ronchusid: Creationists Were Right In Denying That They Have Evolved #p2 http://bit.ly/b6k4mR

  18. 18
    ThatGirlCA says:

    Creationists Were Right In Denying That They Have Evolved #p2 http://bit.ly/b6k4mR (via @RonChusid)

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