Blue Pills Defend the Red, White, & Blue

Bribing Afghan chieftains to provide information to the CIA can be a complicated matter. Giving them guns carries the risk that the guns might wind up in the wrong hands. Giving money or other signs of wealth can lead to those who are bought off displaying their new wealth and giving away the fact that they are receiving payment. The Washington Post quotes a CIA operative as describing their goal in this manner:

The key, Smith said, is to find a way to meet the informant’s personal needs in a way that keeps him firmly on your side but leaves little or no visible trace.

“You’re trying to bridge a gap between people living in the 18th century and people coming in from the 21st century,” Smith said, “so you look for those common things in the form of material aid that motivate people everywhere.”

The Soviet Union (and I’m sure others) have used women to turn foreigners into informants. Along the same lines, the CIA has found that Viagra has been of value in motivating older Afghan chieftains who often have four wives, the maximum allowed by the Koran, to please.

While Viagra was the first drug used for erectile dysfunction, there are now two others on the market and there is strong competition for market share. Will this competition now reach to the mountains of Afghanistan? Being accustomed to obnoxious drug reps frequently stopping by the office attempting to push their products, I can just imagine how they might respond to this article. I can see leaflets being dropped by competing pharmaceutical companies recommending that Afghan chieftains ask their CIA agent for Levitra or Cialis.

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1 Comment

  1. 1
    Len says:

    Wait a dang minute here. Did I read what you wrote correctly? Afghan chieftains often have four wives? Did not Rick Warren just the other day say that every religion and every culture for the past 5,000 years has defined marriage as the union of one man and one woman? How can this be? I’m sorry, but you must be mistaken. Pastor Rick cannot possibly be wrong. Can he?

    Anyway, I’m glad that perhaps boners for old men can perhaps lead to world peace. I knew we’d find a way eventually. Happy Holidays.

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