Quote of the Day

“We have the lovely actress Julianne Moore on the show tonight. She’s playing Sarah Palin in the new HBO movie “Game Change.” It’s about the 2008 election. Believe me, that was a tough role to prepare for, playing Sarah Palin. She had to spend over six months not studying anything.” –Jay Leno

Quote of the Day

“I think Rick Santorum learned something yesterday. He learned that electoral college is not for everyone. Not everyone needs to go the electoral college.” –Jay Leno

Quote of the Day

“Rick Santorum also said that global warming is politics, not science. And he said he’ll defend that position to the edge of the earth. “If I have to fall off…” –Jay Leno

Quote of the Day

“Rick Santorum said today that during his 16 years in Congress, he was an outsider the whole time. You know what? After 16 years, you’re not an outsider. You’re just unpopular.” –Jay Leno

Quote of the Day

“Congratulations once again to the world champion New York Giants. They played a great game. Eli Manning now has two rings. Two! But that’s still one less ring than Newt Gingrich.” –Jay Leno

Quote of the Day

“Rick Santorum says that he is what the Republicans really want. Mitt Romney says now that he knows what Republicans want, he can change to those positions.” –Jay Leno

Quote of the Day

“But, Romney says he is not a creature of Washington. He has lived in the real streets of America. I believe it’s Easy Street, if I’m not mistaken.” –Jay Leno

Bonus Quote:

“In fact, when Mitt Romney was young, he and his gang controlled their hood’s hedge fund.” –Jay Leno

Quote of the Day

“Tonight was the CNN primary debate with the four remaining candidates. It was kind of a change for Newt Gingrich. Usually when he’s arguing with three people at once, it’s his wife, his ex-wife, and his mistress.” –Jay Leno

Quote of the Day

“Mitt Romney is coming under fire because even though he is a multimillionaire, he only paid 15 percent in taxes. That’s not a tax, that’s barely a tip.” –Jay Leno

Quote of the Day

“Mitt Romney, whose father was born in Mexico, is now talking up his Mexican heritage. Not to be outdone today, Newt Gingrich said he once cheated on one of his wives with a woman named Juanita.” –Jay Leno