SNL On Last Week’s GOP Debate At Oakland University

Between Rick Perry forgetting the third department he planned to cut and Herman Cain’s response to the sex scandals, this skit practically wrote itself.

Gingrich Becoming The Next Not-Romney Candidate

There might be a major shake-up underway in the Republican nomination race. Polls such as the McClatchy-Marist poll show Cain falling and Gingrich now turning it into a three-way race.  If Gingrich doesn’t self-destruct like Perry and Cain, it is possible that Gingrich could win the nomination.

There are enough conservatives who do not want Mitt Romney to win that, should they unite behind one, Romney could still be denied the nomination. At this point Romney is looking a lot like Hillary Clinton did four years ago.  If Gingrich could win in Iowa, come in a respectable second in New Hampshire, and then go on to win in South Carolina, he could go on to win the nomination. There might be a protracted fight between Gingrich and Romney, with other conservatives also picking up votes, with Romney unable to gain over fifty percent of the delegates. The questions will be whether Gingrich can maintain his momentum when he becomes the target of other candidates and whether enough conservatives start to back him.

David Letterman: Top Ten Best Rick Perry Excuses (Delivered by Rick Perry)

David Letterman:  Top Ten Best Rick Perry Excuses (Delivered by Rick Perry)

10. Actually there were three reasons I messed up last night 1) was the nerves 2) was the headache and 3) um…..uh….ooops.
9. I don’t know what you’re talking about I think things went well.
8. Hey I was up late last night watching “Dancing with the Stars”
7. I thought the debate was tonight.
6. Hey listen you try concentrating when Mitt Romney’s smiling at you. That is one handsome dude.
5. Uh, El Nino?
4. I had a five hour energy drink six hours before the debate
3. You know I really hoped it would get me on my favorite talk show but instead I ended up here
2. I wanted to help take the heat off my buddy Herman Cain.
1. I just learned Justin Bieber is my father

Quote of the Day

“If the earth was visited by aliens, this could be a huge problem for the Republican party. I mean, Michele Bachmann would want to deport them, Rick Perry would want to execute them, Mitt Romney would be undecided about what to do, and Herman Cain would try to take them up to his room.” –Jay Leno

David Letterman: Top Ten Signs Herman Cain Is Losing It

David Letterman: Top Ten Signs Herman Cain Is Losing It

10. Plans to raise funds by suing himself for sexual harassment
9. Now smokes more than his campaign manager
8. Was recently found hiding in a drainpipe with a golden gun
7. Keeps asking voters if they want to touch his moustache
6. Claims Justin Bieber is his father
5. Campaigning as his hilarious alter ego, Pee-Wee Herman Cain
4. Just paid a visit to Dr. Conrad Murray
3. Spent last of campaign funds betting on the Colts
2. Gave rambling, drunken speech — oh I’m sorry, that was Rick Perry
1. He’s engaged to Kim Kardashian

Perry Self-Destructs Once Again

Tonight’s debate was another bad night for Rick Perry–probably his worst to date.  All Perry had to do was to avoid any major gaffe’s and the big story would be Herman Cain claiming to be innocent because of all the thousands of women he didn’t molest. Instead the story will be Perry’s inability to remember three things, coming after a recent appearance where he appeared to be drunk.

Someone needs to perform a min-mental status exam on Perry at very least.

Perhaps the biggest question of the night is who destructed more, Rick Perry or Joe Paterno?

The Advantage Of Running Against Bat-Shit Crazy Opponents: Obama Leading All Republican Candidates In Ohio

The conventional wisdom is that Obama is doing poorly in the rust belt and that will have difficulty holding on to states he picked up in 2008 such as Ohio. Polls a year out are hardly conclusive, but a Public Policy Polling survey does show that Obama has large leads over his potential rivals in Ohio:

One person who should be feeling particularly good about last night’s election results in Ohio is Barack Obama. On our weekend poll, which got the final result of Issue 2 correct to within a point, Obama led all of his Republican opponents in the state by margins ranging from 9-17 points.  After a very tough year for Democrats in Ohio in 2010, things are looking up.

Obama led Mitt Romney 50-41 on our poll. He was up 11 points on Herman Cain at 50-39, 13 on Newt Gingrich at 51-38, 14 on Ron Paul at 50-36, 14 on Michele Bachmann at 51-37 and a whooping 17 points on Rick Perry at 53-36. It used to be Sarah Palin’s numbers that we compared to Barry Goldwater, but Perry’s deficit would represent the largest Republican defeat in Ohio since 1964.

The biggest thing Obama has going for him right now is an extremely unified Democratic base. Obama gets 88-92% of his party’s vote against the six Republican candidates.  What makes that particularly notable is that his approval rating with Democratic voters is actually only 73%. But these numbers suggest that when election time comes around the party base will get around Obama whether they’re totally thrilled with him or not, and that’s a very good sign for his reelection prospects.

Obama continues to suffer from poor approval ratings in Ohio with only 41% of voters approving of him to 49% who disapprove. But voters don’t seem to consider any of his opponents to be viable alternatives. Cain has the best favorability of the bunch at a still poor 33/43 and it just gets worse from there- 28/48 for Romney, 31/51 for Gingrich, 24/47 for Bachmann, 20/50 for Paul, and a truly woeful 17/58 for Perry. This field of GOP contenders just doesn’t seem to have much appeal to swing state voters.

Besides calling into question the predictions that Obama will lose Ohio next year, this poll also shows that there is limited correlation between approval ratings and ability to win a state. With the Republican Party now under the control of extremists who have moved far to the right of Barry Goldwater and Ronald Reagan, it is possible that Obama can win states despite mediocre approval ratings. It is also very likely that Obama’s approval will improve once he is seen in a head to head contest with a bat-shit crazy Republican.

A Great Weekend For Mitt Romney As Cain And Perry Self-Destruct

As can clearly be seen in many previous posts here, a sane person would have great difficulty holding the views promoted by the far right. Their positions are based upon multiple falsehoods regarding current events, government policy, history, economics, science, and the beliefs of others. As a consequence, the far right is having a very hard time finding a candidate to take on Mitt Romney. At some point Mitt Romney has claimed to hold the views of pretty much everyone, and although he has moved much further right than would be consistent with many of the views he held in the past, not even conservatives are dumb enough to believe his act. Despite this, Romney had quite a good weekend as two of his major rivals for the Republican nomination, Herman Cain and Rick Perry, self-destructed.

It was bad enough for Herman Cain when Politico broke a story of sexual misconduct last night. Things got even worse this morning when the news story became the inconsistencies in his story as Cain “remembered” new things about the allegations. From The Note:

Facing a controversy that has the potential to either topple his presidential hopes or simply embolden his supporters, Herman Cain has spent the past 24 hours offering a meandering series of recollections about sexual harassment allegations leveled against him more than a decade ago.

His lack of clarity threatened to further complicate an already dicey situation for his campaign that began late Sunday night when Politico surfaced accusations of harassment against Cain during his tenure as head of the National Restaurant Association.

“In all of my over 40 years of business experience, running businesses and corporations, I have never sexually harassed anyone,” Cain said in an appearance at the National Press Club in Washington, DC on Monday, adding that the entire episode amounted to a “witch hunt.”

But that’s where his consistency ended.

“I am unaware of any sort of settlement,” Cain said, referring to reported payouts to two women who worked with him in the 1990′s. “I hope it wasn’t for money because I didn’t do anything.”

But in a series of television interviews later in the day, Cain’s hazy memory of the events appeared to clear up.

It continues to get worse for Cain. The Washington Post quotes one of the accusers of saying she would like to tell her side but is blocked by the confidentiality agreement.

Meanwhile Rick Perry, whose public appearances in debates have already done serious harm to his campaign, might have destroyed his career in politics with a speech in which he appears to be drunk or high. The full video follows:

Here are some excerpts:

Jon Stewart provides further coverage of the Republican race:

As Jon Stewart said, “Best case scenario, that dude’s hammered. Worst case scenario, that is Perry sober and every time we’ve seen him previously, he’s been hammered.”

Sports News

St. Louis wins World Series because Texas failed to execute. How ironic. I never thought I’d write a sentence which includes “Texas failed to execute.”

David Letterman: Top Ten Details of Rick Perry’s Tax Plan

David Letterman: Top Ten Details of Rick Perry’s Tax Plan

10. Fifty percent tax increase for all guys named ‘Mitt’
9. Hunting camps with offensive names are tax exempt
8. It’s covered in rib sauce
7. Lets people choose regular tax, flat tax, or ‘El tax muy caliente!’
6. It’s called the 9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9-9 plan
5. The obese pay an additional 3 percent per chin
4. Free dance lessons (video of Rick Perry dancing with Orthodox Jews)
3. Not sure. Honestly, when this guy speaks I have no idea what the heck he’s talking about
2. All tax refunds now go directly to the Chinese
1. Punishment for filing late? Lethal injection