David Letterman: Top Ten Signs Herman Cain Is Losing It

David Letterman: Top Ten Signs Herman Cain Is Losing It

10. Plans to raise funds by suing himself for sexual harassment
9. Now smokes more than his campaign manager
8. Was recently found hiding in a drainpipe with a golden gun
7. Keeps asking voters if they want to touch his moustache
6. Claims Justin Bieber is his father
5. Campaigning as his hilarious alter ego, Pee-Wee Herman Cain
4. Just paid a visit to Dr. Conrad Murray
3. Spent last of campaign funds betting on the Colts
2. Gave rambling, drunken speech — oh I’m sorry, that was Rick Perry
1. He’s engaged to Kim Kardashian

Perry Self-Destructs Once Again


Tonight’s debate was another bad night for Rick Perry–probably his worst to date.  All Perry had to do was to avoid any major gaffe’s and the big story would be Herman Cain claiming to be innocent because of all the thousands of women he didn’t molest. Instead the story will be Perry’s inability to remember three things, coming after a recent appearance where he appeared to be drunk.

Someone needs to perform a min-mental status exam on Perry at very least.

Perhaps the biggest question of the night is who destructed more, Rick Perry or Joe Paterno?

The Advantage Of Running Against Bat-Shit Crazy Opponents: Obama Leading All Republican Candidates In Ohio

The conventional wisdom is that Obama is doing poorly in the rust belt and that will have difficulty holding on to states he picked up in 2008 such as Ohio. Polls a year out are hardly conclusive, but a Public Policy Polling survey does show that Obama has large leads over his potential rivals in Ohio:

One person who should be feeling particularly good about last night’s election results in Ohio is Barack Obama. On our weekend poll, which got the final result of Issue 2 correct to within a point, Obama led all of his Republican opponents in the state by margins ranging from 9-17 points.  After a very tough year for Democrats in Ohio in 2010, things are looking up.

Obama led Mitt Romney 50-41 on our poll. He was up 11 points on Herman Cain at 50-39, 13 on Newt Gingrich at 51-38, 14 on Ron Paul at 50-36, 14 on Michele Bachmann at 51-37 and a whooping 17 points on Rick Perry at 53-36. It used to be Sarah Palin’s numbers that we compared to Barry Goldwater, but Perry’s deficit would represent the largest Republican defeat in Ohio since 1964.

The biggest thing Obama has going for him right now is an extremely unified Democratic base. Obama gets 88-92% of his party’s vote against the six Republican candidates.  What makes that particularly notable is that his approval rating with Democratic voters is actually only 73%. But these numbers suggest that when election time comes around the party base will get around Obama whether they’re totally thrilled with him or not, and that’s a very good sign for his reelection prospects.

Obama continues to suffer from poor approval ratings in Ohio with only 41% of voters approving of him to 49% who disapprove. But voters don’t seem to consider any of his opponents to be viable alternatives. Cain has the best favorability of the bunch at a still poor 33/43 and it just gets worse from there- 28/48 for Romney, 31/51 for Gingrich, 24/47 for Bachmann, 20/50 for Paul, and a truly woeful 17/58 for Perry. This field of GOP contenders just doesn’t seem to have much appeal to swing state voters.

Besides calling into question the predictions that Obama will lose Ohio next year, this poll also shows that there is limited correlation between approval ratings and ability to win a state. With the Republican Party now under the control of extremists who have moved far to the right of Barry Goldwater and Ronald Reagan, it is possible that Obama can win states despite mediocre approval ratings. It is also very likely that Obama’s approval will improve once he is seen in a head to head contest with a bat-shit crazy Republican.

Herman Cain Appears To Mistakenly Believe Medicare Is A State-Run Program

Time after time when hearing Republican proposals to fix problems I find reason to question whether the Republican has any knowledge of that program or issue under discussion.This was the case again during Herman Cain’s health policy speech last week when it sure looked like Cain does not realize that Medicare is a federal as opposed to a state-run program. (An alternative, and less likely, interpretation is that he thinks Medicare should be transferred to the states). Here is a partial transcript:

The way that I am going to help all of us convince the American public that we’ve got to restructure Medicare and not just change the benefits and retirement age is to paint a real clear picture of the disaster path that we’re on. That’s #1.

Secondly, back to one of my guiding principles, talk to the states, talk to the doctors and find out what can we do first to reduce the Medicare bureaucracy that’s imposed on doctors and health care providers and hospitals. I believe, based upon listening to doctors, that there’s a lot that can be done.

Much of the over-regulatory burden that’s imposed by Medicare is driven by the fact that the bureaucrats don’t trust states and hospitals. I do. I would rather error on the side of trusting the states and maybe five of them won’t get it right, but that the other 45 are going to get it right and we all will benefit.

The standard Republican line of reducing regulation has some truth to it, but it is also simplistic–especially as Republicans overestimate the regulatory cost of Democratic regulations as opposed to the comparable cost of Republican-passed regulations. Simplifying regulations would be helpful and save some money, but this would be trivial compared to the overall problems in health care. These savings would not make up for the increased costs due to an aging population and new, more expensive medical technology. Solving all problems in Medicare would not resolve the even more serious problem in the private insurance market, which Republicans refuse to address. Of course to even begin offering solutions, Cain needs to understand the basics of how Medicare is run–such as that it is a federal and not a state program.

Quote of the Day

“Turns out 999 was just his rating system: she’s a 9, she’s a 9, she’s a 9.” –Jay Leno on Herman Cain

Quote of the Day

“Two women have accused Herman Cain of sexually suggestive behavior in the ’90s. He said no. He was just explaining to them his 69-9-9 plan.” –Jay Leno

David Letterman: Top Ten Signs Herman Cain’s Campaign Is In Trouble

David Letterman: Top Ten Signs Herman Cain’s Campaign Is In Trouble

(List from last week before the sexual misconduct allegations)

10. Can’t afford cigarettes for new campaign ads
9. It’s been fun, but there’s no way we’re actually electing a guy named ‘Herman’
8. While campaigning, kissed a photo of himself and signed a baby
7. New campaign slogan ‘Mayday!’
6. Even Michele O’Bachmann thinks his ideas are nuts
5. He trails Gadhafi’s corpse in the polls
4. Refuses to acknowledge the road to the White House goes through me, Dave
3. He’s acting less fun-crazy and more crazy-crazy
2. Just accepted million-dollar offer to pose nude in Playboy
1. There’s a 0-0-0 chance he’ll be president

A Great Weekend For Mitt Romney As Cain And Perry Self-Destruct

As can clearly be seen in many previous posts here, a sane person would have great difficulty holding the views promoted by the far right. Their positions are based upon multiple falsehoods regarding current events, government policy, history, economics, science, and the beliefs of others. As a consequence, the far right is having a very hard time finding a candidate to take on Mitt Romney. At some point Mitt Romney has claimed to hold the views of pretty much everyone, and although he has moved much further right than would be consistent with many of the views he held in the past, not even conservatives are dumb enough to believe his act. Despite this, Romney had quite a good weekend as two of his major rivals for the Republican nomination, Herman Cain and Rick Perry, self-destructed.

It was bad enough for Herman Cain when Politico broke a story of sexual misconduct last night. Things got even worse this morning when the news story became the inconsistencies in his story as Cain “remembered” new things about the allegations. From The Note:

Facing a controversy that has the potential to either topple his presidential hopes or simply embolden his supporters, Herman Cain has spent the past 24 hours offering a meandering series of recollections about sexual harassment allegations leveled against him more than a decade ago.

His lack of clarity threatened to further complicate an already dicey situation for his campaign that began late Sunday night when Politico surfaced accusations of harassment against Cain during his tenure as head of the National Restaurant Association.

“In all of my over 40 years of business experience, running businesses and corporations, I have never sexually harassed anyone,” Cain said in an appearance at the National Press Club in Washington, DC on Monday, adding that the entire episode amounted to a “witch hunt.”

But that’s where his consistency ended.

“I am unaware of any sort of settlement,” Cain said, referring to reported payouts to two women who worked with him in the 1990′s. “I hope it wasn’t for money because I didn’t do anything.” http://abcn.ws/uBYU2m

But in a series of television interviews later in the day, Cain’s hazy memory of the events appeared to clear up.

It continues to get worse for Cain. The Washington Post quotes one of the accusers of saying she would like to tell her side but is blocked by the confidentiality agreement.

Meanwhile Rick Perry, whose public appearances in debates have already done serious harm to his campaign, might have destroyed his career in politics with a speech in which he appears to be drunk or high. The full video follows:

Here are some excerpts:

Jon Stewart provides further coverage of the Republican race:

As Jon Stewart said, “Best case scenario, that dude’s hammered. Worst case scenario, that is Perry sober and every time we’ve seen him previously, he’s been hammered.”

Republicans Believe The Darndest Things

Conservatives believe a wide variety of bizarre things. While the exact list differs with the individual, many of the presidential candidates have admitted to being told to run by voices in their head. Other conservative leaders have even gone to war based upon religious prophesy. Many conservatives believe that lowering current tax rates will increase tax revenue and create jobs, believe that creationism is a valid alternative to evolution, believe that all the scientific evidence for climate change is an elaborate hoax, some such as Rick Perry still  question if Barack Obama was born in the United States, some still  believe Saddam was behind the 9/11 attack, and some believe a wide variety of conspiracy theories (especially if named Ron Paul). Herman Cain adds another bizarre belief to this list. Michelle Cottle wrote about Cain’s belief in numerology:

Raise your hand if you have a favorite number.

Keep it raised if you believe this number to be your “lucky” number.

Now keep it up only if you think this number has a literal, meaningful, ongoing impact on your life.

Finally, if your hand is still up, ask yourself this: If you were running for president and wrote a campaign book, would you devote an entire chapter to this number, explaining how its frequent appearance in your life signals that you are meant to win and explaining that, though you are “not a devout numerologist,” this number clearly keeps popping up “more than coincidentally”?

If that hand is still raised, it probably means that you are Herman Cain. (Hi, Herman!)

As Cain enjoys his tour as the GOP’s Anyone-But-Mitt of the moment—and reaps the consequent saturation media—one can’t help but wonder when the candidate’s peculiar obsession with supernatural signs and signals is going to become a subject of interest.

In Chapter Nine of This Is Herman Cain—entitled “‘Forty-Five’—A Special Number,” Cain notes that his “conception, gestation, and birth all occurred within” the year 1945 (true of pretty much anyone born in the last three months of that year). He then launches into a detailed account of how “45 keeps on popping up as I go about the business of being elected—you guessed it—as the forty-fifth president of the United States of America.”

The article goes on to describe further examples of how Cain  “sees divine messages everywhere.”

Raise your hand if having someone as delusional and unqualified as Herman Cain as president makes you nervous.

Keep it raised if you are also worried about the other Republican candidates this year.

Quote of the Day

“Herman Cain has moved ahead of Mitt Romney. Can you believe that? Political analysts say this is because Americans don’t understand Mormonism but they do understand pizza.” –Conan O’Brien