Cain Suspends Campaign

Breaking News: Herman Cain has suspended his campaign, but insists he is the candidate who is most qualified to take a 3 a.m. booty call.

Donald Trump To Host GOP Debate

The Republican debates have already been compared to a bad version of Survivor in which losers don’t get voted out. The reality-show comparisons are even stronger now that Donald Trump is going to moderate a Republican debate in Des Moines on December 27. If anyone objects that Trump lacks real journalistic credentials it shouldn’t matter. Trump is joining with Newsmax to host the debate. Newsmax presents right wing fictions as “news”  to a degree that by comparison Fox is almost Fair and Balanced.

Some bloggers such as Steve M are saying that the Republican Party cannot be taken seriously after having Trump moderating their debate. It is already way too late. Trump’s lunacy fits in perfectly with the off the wall views of Michele Bachmann, the sexual scandals surrounding Herman Cain, the ignorance of Rick Perry, the push to repeal the 20th and 21st century by Newt Gingrich, the promotion of wild conspiracy theories by Ron Paul, and the total lack of consistency or sincerity in the views of Mitt Romney.

There was a time when Donald Trump might have responded to the inevitable nonsense to come from the Republican candidates by telling them, “You’re fired.” That was when Trump was calling George Bush, “probably the worst president in the history of the United States.” That was also when he was saying, “it just seems that the economy does better under the Democrats than the Republicans.” This year Trump has preferred to adopt the know-nothing attitude of the far right, between his promotion of Birtherism to Trump asking, ““It’s cold outside…so where’s the global warming?”

The winner of the debate is clearly Jon Huntsman who is not attending the event and sent this comment: “”Lol. We look forward to watching Mitt and Newt suck-up to The Donald with a big bowl of popcorn.”

Update: Ron Paul also not taking part, calling Trump as moderator ‘”wildly inappropriate.”

Quote of the Day

“The Christmas season has officially started. Today I saw Herman Cain wearing his mistletoe belt buckle.” –Jay Leno

Quote of the Day

“Cain’s only real foreign policy experience is from when he ran the National Restaurant Association and had to deal with the manager from the International House of Pancakes.” –Jay Leno

(In addition, Cain could see a Taco Bell from his house.)

David Letterman: Top Ten Thoughts That Went Through Herman Cain’s Mind During The ‘Libya’ Moment

David Letterman: Top Ten Thoughts That Went Through Herman Cain’s Mind During The ‘Libya’ Moment”

10. “Libya? I remember Lydia, but I don’t remember a Libya”
9. “I told them politics was off limits”
8. “Maybe if I hold perfectly still, everybody will think their DVRs are on pause”
7. “Why the heck am I in Milwaukee?”
6. “Uh, 9-9-9?”
5. “What would Rick Dees do?”
4. “I’m gonna be on YouTube!”
3. “I should have called Bob Costas”
2. “These things are a lot funnier when it happens to Rick Perry”
1. “Well, it’s been fun, see you in 2016!”

SNL On Last Week’s GOP Debate At Oakland University

Between Rick Perry forgetting the third department he planned to cut and Herman Cain’s response to the sex scandals, this skit practically wrote itself.

Quote of the Day

“Earlier today Herman Cain rejected calls that he should withdraw from the race. He said, ‘It ain’t gonna happen!’ That’s what he said. Ironically, that’s what women say to him when he’d put his hand up their skirt.” –Jay Leno

David Letterman: Top Ten Herman Cain Pick-Up Lines

David Letterman: Top Ten Herman Cain Pick-Up Lines

10. “You’re like a Godfather’s pizza: a little doughy, but still hot”
9. “My name’s Herman and I’ll get you squirmin'”
8. “May I stuff your crust?”
7. “You put the ‘ass’ in National Restaurant Association”
6. “Can I buy you a glass of whatever Rick Perry is drinking?”
5. “Would you describe yourself as the litigious type?”
4. (Video: Newt Gingrich having sex with a vending machine)
3. “Baby, you’re worth the forty grand in hush money”
2. “You don’t know Gloria Allred, do you?”
1. “My tax plan is 9-9-9, but you’re a 10-10-10”

Gingrich Becoming The Next Not-Romney Candidate

There might be a major shake-up underway in the Republican nomination race. Polls such as the McClatchy-Marist poll show Cain falling and Gingrich now turning it into a three-way race.  If Gingrich doesn’t self-destruct like Perry and Cain, it is possible that Gingrich could win the nomination.

There are enough conservatives who do not want Mitt Romney to win that, should they unite behind one, Romney could still be denied the nomination. At this point Romney is looking a lot like Hillary Clinton did four years ago.  If Gingrich could win in Iowa, come in a respectable second in New Hampshire, and then go on to win in South Carolina, he could go on to win the nomination. There might be a protracted fight between Gingrich and Romney, with other conservatives also picking up votes, with Romney unable to gain over fifty percent of the delegates. The questions will be whether Gingrich can maintain his momentum when he becomes the target of other candidates and whether enough conservatives start to back him.

Quote of the Day

“If the earth was visited by aliens, this could be a huge problem for the Republican party. I mean, Michele Bachmann would want to deport them, Rick Perry would want to execute them, Mitt Romney would be undecided about what to do, and Herman Cain would try to take them up to his room.” –Jay Leno