Republicans Believe The Darndest Things

Conservatives believe a wide variety of bizarre things. While the exact list differs with the individual, many of the presidential candidates have admitted to being told to run by voices in their head. Other conservative leaders have even gone to war based upon religious prophesy. Many conservatives believe that lowering current tax rates will increase tax revenue and create jobs, believe that creationism is a valid alternative to evolution, believe that all the scientific evidence for climate change is an elaborate hoax, some such as Rick Perry still  question if Barack Obama was born in the United States, some still  believe Saddam was behind the 9/11 attack, and some believe a wide variety of conspiracy theories (especially if named Ron Paul). Herman Cain adds another bizarre belief to this list. Michelle Cottle wrote about Cain’s belief in numerology:

Raise your hand if you have a favorite number.

Keep it raised if you believe this number to be your “lucky” number.

Now keep it up only if you think this number has a literal, meaningful, ongoing impact on your life.

Finally, if your hand is still up, ask yourself this: If you were running for president and wrote a campaign book, would you devote an entire chapter to this number, explaining how its frequent appearance in your life signals that you are meant to win and explaining that, though you are “not a devout numerologist,” this number clearly keeps popping up “more than coincidentally”?

If that hand is still raised, it probably means that you are Herman Cain. (Hi, Herman!)

As Cain enjoys his tour as the GOP’s Anyone-But-Mitt of the moment—and reaps the consequent saturation media—one can’t help but wonder when the candidate’s peculiar obsession with supernatural signs and signals is going to become a subject of interest.

In Chapter Nine of This Is Herman Cain—entitled “‘Forty-Five’—A Special Number,” Cain notes that his “conception, gestation, and birth all occurred within” the year 1945 (true of pretty much anyone born in the last three months of that year). He then launches into a detailed account of how “45 keeps on popping up as I go about the business of being elected—you guessed it—as the forty-fifth president of the United States of America.”

The article goes on to describe further examples of how Cain  “sees divine messages everywhere.”

Raise your hand if having someone as delusional and unqualified as Herman Cain as president makes you nervous.

Keep it raised if you are also worried about the other Republican candidates this year.

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2 Comments

  1. 1
    Robert says:

    I’m indeed worried about all Republican candidates.When can I take my hand down,getting sort of tired.

  2. 2
    Ron Chusid says:

    Ok, you can take down your hand now.

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