David Letterman’s “Top Ten Surprises On Barack Obama’s Birth Certificate”

David Letterman: “Top Ten Surprises On Barack Obama’s Birth Certificate”

10. Was born at a luau
9. Parents crossed out original choice for first name, “Gary”
8. Is a triplet, born with sisters Mary-Kate and Ashley Obama
7. Also released as an audiobook read by John Lithgow
6. It’s covered in poi stains
5. Claims he’s a baby when Obama is clearly an adult — It’s a forgery!
4. Under “Conspiracy?” They checked “No”
3. Document notarized by Magnum P.I.
2. Note reads “To be released only at the request of crazy-haired blowhard billionaires”
1. Fine print at bottom: Not an actual birth certificate

Quote of the Day

“Did you see Donald Trump today? He said, ‘I’m very proud of myself because I accomplished something no one else was able to accomplish.’ So basically Trump is taking credit for President Obama proving that everything Trump has been saying for the last year is a bunch of crap.” –Jay Leno