David Letterman’s “Top Ten Little-Known Facts About United States Presidents” & Other Presidents’ Day Jokes

It’s a little late, but here’s some highlights from Presidents’ Day.

David Letterman’s “Top Ten Little-Known Facts About United States Presidents

10. William Howard Taft was so fat, he’s considered our 27th and 28th presidents
9. Teddy Roosevelt answered the phone, ‘Hellosevelt?’
8. The K in James K. Polk stood for Kanye
7. Like the cartoon cat, James A. Garfield loved lasagna and hated Mondays
6. To conserve energy when possible, Jimmy Carter would travel via pogo stick
5. During one of his fireside chats, FDR accidentally burned down the map room
4. John Tyler was the only president to work his way up from the mailroom
3. Zachary Taylor’s vice president was a cocker spaniel named Angus
2. Our only unmarried president, James Buchanan was fond of posing as his own first lady
1. George W. Bush was not born in the United States

And some bonus Presidents’ Day jokes:

“Bill Clinton recently revealed that he only sent two e-mails while he was President. Then he added, “And it turns out those pills are just a scam.” –Jimmy Fallon

“Happy Presidents Day. This is a day when we celebrate history by getting great deals on mattresses.” –Craig Ferguson

“President Taft was so fat that before he was elected to the Oval Office it was square.” –Craig Ferguson

“I’m glad we have a day for the presidents, but shouldn’t we have a day for Congress when the Senate and the House can kick back and not worry about getting anything done? Oh, wait.” –Craig Ferguson

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