Republicans Ask America For Ideas

The Republicans want to be returned to the majority party but they have one problem which was painfully obvious the last time they were in the majority–they have no rational policies to promote. After all, when you think that everything the government does is bad it is hard to think of things to do when you run the government. To attempt to solve this problem the Republicans set up a web site to ask people what they should do.

Needless to say, there’s a lot of off the wall suggestions. It is certainly possible that some of the off the wall suggestions came from Democrats who just wanted to make the Republicans look ridiculous. While in some cases it is clear a submission isn’t serious, in most cases  actual Republican ideas are so ridiculous that it is  impossible to differentiate between their actual ideas and ideas presented to mock them.

Here’s some examples from the America Speaking Out site:

“End Child Labor Laws,” suggests one helpful participant. “We coddle children too much. They need to spend their youth in the factories.”

“How about if Congress actually do thier job and VET or Usurper in Chief, Obama is NOT a Natural Born Citizen in any way,” recommends another. “That fake so called birth certificate is useless.”

“A ‘teacher’ told my child in class that dolphins were mammals and not fish!” a third complains. “And the same thing about whales! We need TRADITIONAL VALUES in all areas of education. If it swims in the water, it is a FISH. Period! End of Story.”

“Build a castle-style wall along the border, there is plenty of stone laying around about there.” That was in the “national security” section of the new site.

“I say, repeal all the amendments to the Constitution.” (“American prosperity” section.)

“Don’t let the illegals run out of Arizona and hide. . . . I think that we should do something to identify them in case they try to come back over. Like maybe tattoo a big scarlet ‘I’ on their chests — for ‘illegal’!!!” (Filed under “job creation.”)

“Require all Muslims in the U.S. to wear ankle bracelet transponders so we know where the terrorists are at all times.”

“We should administer capital punishment to anyone who has an abortion. In order to cut costs that the death penalty normally entails, we will have lax gun laws that will allow people to obtain guns with greater ease. Then we would allow the “free-market” to dictate whose philosophy wins out – the liberals irrational philosophy or our logical and God following philosophy. Liberals who have abortions would be taken care of by a militia of the willing who will get rid of all liberals who take the life others irrationally and will allow us to remove all of our opponents to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

“all leaders should proclaim faith in Jesus Christ. anyone who does not, like muslims and atheists should be removed from office.”

“I’ve noticed lately that America’s birds are getting a little on the small side. The North African Ostrich is the world’s largest and therefore best bird. Why is it that the greatest country on earth doesn’t have the world’s biggest birds? Liberals want our birds to be small because they hate the Constitution. Jews did 9/11.”

“have Jesus turn water into gasoline”

“We need to take the government out of ALL public services. NO GOVERNMENT IN HEALTHCARE. Make it all private sector. Let Blockbuster run the ambulance services. Let Comcast schedule an appointment to put out a fire and tend to the injured. Let AT&T handle the police service (where available). THIS IS AMERICA!”

“Faith-based medicine and healing should be given the same respect as Western allopathic medicine.”

“Bomb any country that messes with us.”

“Simple idea: take the nukes we currently have pointed elsewhere, and aim them at Mecca. Then, announce to the muslim world that if Bin Laden is turned in (or proven beyond a doubt to be dead) within the next two years, we will not fire, will withdraw from all operations in muslim nations, and will pay the person who gives the penultimate tip 100 million dollars. If he is not turned in by then, and another attack is carried out…well, you know.”

“We have to repeal the 14th Amendmant. NONE of the “Bill of Rights” is in the original Constitution, and most of them were passed illegally, so we can show that 14 is UNCONSTITUTIONAL. That is the amendmant that makes “Anchor babies” and grows the illegal problem here in the USA.”

“The only law enforcement powers in the Constitution are given to the Militia – Art 1, Sec. 8, Para. 15 – The Militia is to execute the laws of the union, suppress insurrections, and repel invasions. The flood of illegal aliens is an invasion. Para. 16 requires the Government to arm the Militia. In case you don’t know — the Militia is, by law, Check your State Constitution, every able bodied man between 18 and 50. Certainly not the National Guard. Now, we should consider it to be men and women between 18 and 60. The Constitution requires the government to arm its Citizens so they can defend themselves. We need to tell congress to quit arguing over the 2nd Amendment and do your job.”

“Limit the size of any bill to a single subject that must fit in standard type on two sides of a sheet of legal paper.”

“They should send the Statue of “Liberty” back to France. We dont want your hungry tired poor, sorry! They should stay in France with you and your statue.”

“I should have the right to name my children using numbers. If I want to name my child l33t, I should be able to name him that, darsh gone it. Who is the guberment to say that I can’t name my children using numbers?”

“All naughty children should be baked into a pie.”

“Men should be prohibited from getting themselves off, because that is spilling seed, which is life. And women should be prohibited from menstruating because their eggs are life.”

After all that, this suggestion really sounds good:

“Stop wasting federal money on websites designed to make Americans feel like Republicans are actually listening to them.”

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2 Comments

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    Jim Z. says:

    My God, you are right.  After a year and a half of the GOP and Tea Party statements and actions, you really can’t tell the serious suggestions from the jokes!

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