Dick Cheney has been hospitalized with chest pain. He is now resting comfortably in the hospital after water boarding his nurse to find out what channel Fox is on the hospital’s cable system. Luckily for him, he doesn’t need a sixty vote super-majority to receive health care like the rest of the country.
Update: Dick Cheney has just shot his nurse in the face. The nurse has issued an apology.
Whatever Cheney’s problem is, we can be certain it is NOT a heart attack. He lacks a vital requirement for that to be the case.
If personal discomfort rendered Cheney eligible for hospitalization, what the hell does 8 years of his vice presidency make the rest of us eligible for? When’s the FUNeral? I’d donate $10 to a worthy gulf coast oil spill relief fund in his name if I get to pull the plug on him. And hundreds of thousands of us could take turns plugging and unplugging him. At $10 a pop for an opportunity like that , there’s no oil spill too big to clean up! What was that room number? Wouldn’t that be SPECIAL?