Live From New York, Tina Fey Does Sarah Palin

Tina Fey and Amy Poeler opened the season of Saturday Night Live portraying a joint appearance between Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton. Fey did an excellent job capturing Palin, and I have never been so happy to see “Hillary Clinton.” To keep the description simple, I’ll just refer to each of them by the roles they were playing.

When Palin began by saying, “Hillary and I don’t agree on everything” Hillary corrected this phrase to end with “anything.”  Hillary quickly gave one example: “I believe that diplomacy should be the cornerstone of any foreign policy.” Palin responded, “And I can see Russia from my house.” Hillary later said, “I don’t agree with the Bush Doctrine.” Palin admitted, “I don’t know what that is,” tying into the obvious lack of knowledge shown in her interview with Charles Gibson.

Both talked about sexism, with Palin concluding by saying, “So in the next six weeks, I invite the media to be vigilant for sexist behavior.” Hillary responded with, “Although it is never sexist to question female politicians credentials.  Please ask this one about dinosaurs.  So I invite the media to grow a pair.  And if you can’t, I will lend you mine.”

There was much more in the skit and I’ll add a video if one becomes available. I certainly hope that Tina Fey will agree to appear on SNL more times before the election and reprise this role. The transcript is under the fold.

Update: The video is now added. Polical Radar reports that, “There were howls of laughter from the sizeable press corps covering Palin’s first foray on the campaign trail.” There was silence from the front of the plane as Palin “has yet to say so much as hello to the press corps.”

FEY AS PALIN: “Good evening, my fellow Americans.  I was so excited when I was told Senator Clinton and I would be addressing you tonight.”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: “And I was told I would be addressing you alone.”

FEY AS PALIN: “Now I know it must be a little bit strange for all of you to see the two of us together.  What with me being John McCain’s running mate.”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: “And me being a fervent supporter of Senator Barack Obama — as evidenced by this button.”

FEY AS PALIN: “But tonight we are crossing party lines to address the now very ugly role that sexism is playing in the campaign.”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: “An issue which I am frankly surprised to hear people suddenly care about.”

FEY AS PALIN:  “You know, Hillary and I don’t agree on everything…”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: (OVERLAPPING) “Anything. I believe that diplomacy should be the cornerstone of any foreign policy.”

FEY AS PALIN: “And I can see Russia from my house.”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: “I believe global warming is caused by man.”

FEY AS PALIN: “And I believe it’s just God hugging us closer.”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: “I don’t agree with the Bush Doctrine.”

FEY AS PALIN: “I don’t know what that is.”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: “But Sarah, one thing we can agree on is that sexism can never be allowed to permeate an American election.”

FEY AS PALIN: “So please, stop photoshopping my head on sexy bikini pictures.”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: “And stop saying I have cankles.”

FEY AS PALIN: “Don’t refer to me as a ‘MILF.'”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: “And don’t refer to me as a ‘FLURJ.’  I Googled what it stands for and I do not like it.”

FEY AS PALIN: “So we ask reporters and commentators, stop using words that diminish us, like ‘pretty,’ ‘attractive,’ ‘beautiful.'”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: “‘Harpy,’ ‘shrew’ and ‘boner shrinker.'”

FEY AS PALIN: “While our politics may differ, my friend and I are both very tough ladies.  You know it reminds me of a joke we tell in Alaska…”What’s the difference…

POEHLER AS CLINTON: “Lipstick.”

FEY AS PALIN: “…between a hockey mom…”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: “Lipstick.”

FEY AS PALIN: “…and a pitbull?”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: “Lipstick.”

FEY AS PALIN(AFTER A BEAT): “Lipstick. Just look at how far we’ve come.  Hillary Clinton, who came so close to the White House.  And me, Sarah Palin, who is even closer.  Can you believe it, Hillary?”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: (AFTER A PAUSE)”I can not.”

FEY AS PALIN: “It’s truly amazing and I think women everywhere can agree, that no matter your politics, it’s time for a woman to make it to the White House.”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: “No.  Mine!  It’s supposed to be mine! I need to say something.  I didn’t want a woman to be President.  I wanted to be President and I just happen to be a woman.  And I don’t want to hear you compare your road to the White House to my road to the White House.  I scratched and clawed through mud and barbed wire and you just glided in on a dog sled wearing your pageant sash and your Tina Fey glasses.”

FEY AS PALIN:
“What an amazing time we live in.  To think that just two years ago, I was a small town mayor of Alaska’s crystal meth capitol.  And now I am just one heartbeat away from being President of the United States.  It just goes to show that anyone can be President.”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: “Anyone.”

FEY AS PALIN: “All you have to do is want it.”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: (LAUGHS) “Yeah, you know, Sarah, looking back, if I could change one thing, I should have wanted it more.” (RIPS OFF PIECE OF PODIUM)

FEY AS PALIN: “So in the next six weeks, I invite the media to be vigilant for sexist behavior.”

POEHLER AS CLINTON: “Although it is never sexist to question female politicians credentials.  Please ask this one about dinosaurs.  So I invite the media to grow a pair.  And if you can’t, I will lend you mine.”

FEY AS PALIN: And as we say in Alaska…

POEHLER AS CLINTON: “We say it everywhere…”

FEY/POEHLER: “Live from New York, It’s Saturday Night!!!

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3 Comments

  1. 1
    Shane says:

    Thanks for the SNL update, don’t get much chance to see it over here in Europe. If you do get a video, make sure to add it. Sarah Palin’s choice as VP will go down as the biggest insult to women (and men) ever!

  2. 2
    Jerry says:

    Huff has a link to the video.  Hillary-ous!  I was laughing so hard, my face was Palin.  Oh, the McPain – it hurts so good! On another note, Barack pulled in $66M last month and added 500,000 new donars!  I believe that Drudge’s ‘scoop’ that Barack “missed his goal” has been disproven!  Can I use even more ‘!’s ?  Oh, yup yup!!!  
    Go, Barack-uda!!!!!

  3. 3
    Tatiana says:

    Hey! we all need a universal healthcare in this country!!

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